It's Not Fair...

"It's not fair..." were the immortal words uttered by my wife last night after receiving some normally very happy but under the circumstances depressing news last night when finding out another couple we knew were pregnant.  I'll try my best to disguise who this couple is considering I don't think it's "facebook official" yet, but needless to say it was quite the dickpunch to find out that this couple who weren't openly trying to have a child, were.

I really haven't written or talked much about this situation but, it's time to open up a little bit.  We have been trying to conceive for almost 2 years now. However, about a year ago Julie was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome.  The Mayo Clinic describes this as "a common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age. Infrequent or prolonged menstrual periods can occur in women with polycystic ovary syndrome. In women past adolescence, difficulty becoming pregnant or unexplained weight gain may be the first sign."

Needless to say, PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrom) has been a PIOA (pain in our ass).  With a condition like this, it's not easy to get treatment in Kewaskum, or sadly anywhere else in the nearby area and we have instead had to the Good Hope Aurora Clinic in Milwaukee, which is a decent 45 minute haul.  Not only that, but because of the time sensitive nature of these appointments, most occur on weekdays, where Julie would have to try to cram them between her split shift at work and because she doesn't drive, I've used some vacation days as well as taking extended lunch breaks to take her to these appointments (as well as the graciousness of her parents to make the much longer trip from Beloit to take her when I can't).  After adding in all of the prescriptions, co-pays, blood draw fees, and various other tests we are well into four figures already and we haven't even gotten to the expensive part yet.

So while we were on our way home from seeing a pre-screening of The Kings of Summer, Julie noticed a missed call.  She called this person back and I could immediately tell that something was wrong, as she began speaking very monosyllabically. After hanging up the phone, that was when the waterworks started and she told me the news.  I was stunned.  I knew becoming pregnant means so much to her and this only gets more frustrating every time she finds out that another friend of hers got knocked up.  It started with one high school friend who accidentally got pregnant for the second time, followed by a close college friend who had an oopsies moment of her own.

Since we became engaged, she became online friends with other people having August 2010 weddings on The Knot website, where she would discuss different wedding ideas, etc.  After the weddings were done they formed a group on Facebook talking about their married life, which lead to a lot of the discussing and trying to become pregnant as well.  As more people said that they were going to attempt to get pregnant after Julie had previously announced it and "struggled" for 2 or 3 months before getting the good news, Julie became more and more frustrated as she began getting lapped.

The one good thing that developed out of this community was a good friendship with a Canadian girl named Jodie.  Jodie has also been trying for several years to become pregnant but has also faced a lot of issues.  As bad as Julie and I have had it, my heart really goes out to Jodie and her husband, as our small drive to Milwaukee is nothing compared to their flights to Toronto.  She's also had to undergo much harsher and more expensive treatment including invetro fertilization two months ago. Just when everything seemed to finally work, she flew in for a check-up and got the worst news you could imagine, she lost the baby.  My heart absolutely goes out to Jodie and her husband for all the hardships that they have encountered and hope that things get better for them soon.

Sometimes we live in a cruel world.  On the most recent season of Mike & Molly, they spent the entire season having a frustrating time attempting to have their first child, but (SPOILER ALERT), of course at the end of the season, Molly announced that she was going to be having her baby.  Unfortunately, we do not live in a sitcom world where things have a happy ending.  Most of our time is spent mid-season during these frustrating periods of our lives.   Julie is currently trying a new medication and has a follow-up appointment tomorrow, hopefully we will get some good news and have our sitcom ending soon enough.